BIENVENID@ INVITADO
Estoy con ella sin querer

Estoy con ella sin querer

Fotos de BeccaFarsaceAdelaida Fagundez en Flickr bajo licencia de Creative Commons

No permanezcas en una relación en la que no haya amor y en la que no te sientas cómodo/a. Una relación sin amor no es justa para ninguno de los que están en ella. Es dañino y dolosoro

Tener novio/a en la escuela es algo muy bonito y una etapa de tu vida que siempre recordarás, pues en la adolescencia es cuándo estamos formándonos, creando carácter, sabiendo que nos gusta y qué no, definiendo qué queremos en la vida (aunque a veces terminemos hacienda completamente lo contrario). Entonces, tener a alguien que nos acompañe, a parte de nuestros mejores amigos y la familia (con quien no siempre estamos en nuestro mejor momento), que nos aconseje y nos impulse a dar más del 100%; vale la pena.

Pero, ¿cuántos adolescentes no han vivido sus años de colegio sin tener novio/a y han aprovechado ese tiempo solos para realmente conocerse, aprender de las relaciones que lo rodean y disfrutar del tiempo con los amigos sin tener que dar explicaciones ni rendirle cuentas a una pareja? Muchos, y están perfectamente bien y quizás hoy en día tengan más éxito en sus relaciones pues la han tenido en una etapa más madura de su vida.  

Hace unos meses uno de mis mejores amigos me confesó que no quería seguir con su novia, pero que sentía que debía, entonces le pregunté por qué y me respondió: “que ya su familia la conocía a ella y a su familia” … “que era una de las chicas más populares de la escuela y estaba en un curso más alto que nosotros” … y finalmente, “porque uno en la escuela debe tener novia para ser más macho, entonces no podía romper con ella”.

Me pareció cierto en el momento, pero luego pensándolo me pareció un poco absurdo también, porque al final en la vida no debemos hacer nada que no queramos y menos por querer proyectar una imagen o un estatus que es el “adecuado”.

¿Quién nos dice que es lo adecuado o no? Y ¿Cuáles son sus parámetros para decirlo?

Lo único que me atreví a decirle fue que siguiera su corazón, pues una relación sin amor no me parece justo para ninguno de los que están en ella. Además le sugerí que hablara con la psicóloga de la escuela que siempre parece saber lo que uno necesita.

Así lo hizo. La psicóloga le dijo lo siguiente (cito las palabras de mi amigo):

“Tu familia ya vivió su adolescencia e hizo lo que quiso, es bueno que los hagas participes de tus decisiones y relaciones, pero ellos no son quien ni son una condicionante para que estés o no con una persona. Por otro lado, la popularidad es relativa, y si es lo que a ti te interesa no soy quien, para juzgarte, pero no necesitas de otra persona para ser popular, lo puedes lograr por cuenta propia con un poco de personalidad, seguridad y autoestima. Finalmente, en la vida no se “supone” nada. Cada quien tiene su guion de vida, su ritmo y sus deseos. Si el tuyo es tener una compañera en esta etapa en la que te encuentras, tenla, pero que sea una que te enamore todos los días, que te haga sentir seguro, que te quiera y te respete, y sobre todo que estés con ella porque así lo quieres; porque la quieres a ella, no la etiqueta de una novia, y porque ella te quiere a ti de la misma forma”.

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